This time it sounded as though they got the right man. Prosecutors in Nassau County, New York, have filed charges against Death for what he stole at the cemetery.
Donald Death Jr., a 60-year-old from Locust Valley, New York, was arraigned last month on charges that he stole some $293,000 from the Locust Valley Cemetery Association.
Death, who is the chairman and assistant treasurer of the association, pleaded not guilty to two counts of second-degree grand larceny and one count of third-degree grand larceny for allegedly using cemetery funds for his own purposes.
I’m glad they finally caught this guy.
Now maybe they can find that other Death—the one who has been stealing from me for years.
The first theft came when I was eight years old. Death stole my neighbor, Mrs. Knepper, who was about 90. She and I played dominoes occasionally, and I liked her because she always let me win. Then Death took her.
Death stole my dog, Streak, not long after that. And then my dog Boots, and my dog Queenie, and my dog Ted. Death seems to like dogs. Either that or he hates kids, because he’s always taking their pets.
After that, Death disappeared from my life for several years. I think he got sent to Vietnam. Then he showed up again and took my grandfather, who was by then about the age Mrs. Knepper had been, and very ill. Old, sick people aren’t always good company, but Death seems to like them.
When Death stole nothing but dogs and old people, I wasn’t overly concerned. But one night Death snuck into my house and stole my pride and joy—my baby girl.
Then I got mad.
I went to the police. I called the FBI. I wrote letters to my congressman. But nobody seemed interested in going after this menace. Although they had heard of him and seemed sympathetic about my case, they claimed nothing could be done. Everyone seemed to treat Death as a fact of life.
Imagine how excited I was when the cops arrested this guy on Long Island. But it turns out he must not be related to the Death that has given me so much grief.
In fact, news reports say that lots of people are sticking up for the man named Death on Long Island. They actually like the guy. His attorney said that he has repaid everything he’d stolen from the cemetery association.
The lawyer called Death an “upstanding member of the community who has served on many boards and charities.”
Imagine the nerve, calling Death a good citizen.
Could that be possible about the other Death?
I wonder.
It’s true that some people welcome that other Death, and he’s certainly been around for ages. Might he be something other than a thief, a bandit, a robber? Could Death be a friend after all?
Nah. That guy on Long Island named Death may have repaid the cemetery, but the other Death never made things right with me. I want him to pay for stealing my dog. And my child. I want the creep put away for good.
The Long Island man named Death could face up to 15 years in prison, if convicted on the larceny charges. That would be a good start for that other Death. Imagine what the world would be like if Death were locked up for 15 years.
The man named Death on Long Island has been released on his own recognizance, pending a court appearance later this month
And the other Death remains at large.
Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
© 2005 Lawrence W. Wilson.
